I don't know how it feels to die but I can tell you how it feels not wanting to wake up some times.
So also, can I tell you how waking up some times feel so hard to do. Then it makes me imagine, imagine a world where maybe I enjoy the sleep so much and never wake or maybe that which draws one into nothingness, death, finally wrench me away from my warm self. Could it be that death sings beautiful lullaby that smiles as it takes one away? Or one that causes the spell of life to be broken, these are just thoughts!!!
Do you think these too? Do you ever wonder the kind of messages that would bombard your soul as you walk on to the other side.
Forgive my curiosity but how many tributes to the dead is true? Maybe the tributes lay there because of fear. Fear, oh yes. fear that it could have been you or that you must do the dead well by saying nice things even when you mean not a dime. The fear that when you die people may not miss you as much. Or maybe in the end, you really do mean your words to the departed. And why do I say these?
So also, can I tell you how waking up some times feel so hard to do. Then it makes me imagine, imagine a world where maybe I enjoy the sleep so much and never wake or maybe that which draws one into nothingness, death, finally wrench me away from my warm self. Could it be that death sings beautiful lullaby that smiles as it takes one away? Or one that causes the spell of life to be broken, these are just thoughts!!!
Do you think these too? Do you ever wonder the kind of messages that would bombard your soul as you walk on to the other side.
Forgive my curiosity but how many tributes to the dead is true? Maybe the tributes lay there because of fear. Fear, oh yes. fear that it could have been you or that you must do the dead well by saying nice things even when you mean not a dime. The fear that when you die people may not miss you as much. Or maybe in the end, you really do mean your words to the departed. And why do I say these?
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Therefore, I fear it's fear that keeps me and you glued to the response "I am fine" to the question "how are you?" expecting nothing more. The fear of not knowing what to say or do to help I believe.
Right from when we were young, I just can't remember when we were taught to say "I am not fine" to "how are you?" Rather you hear " when people ask,
"how are you?" You answer,
"I am fine, thank you"
Sincerely no one expects the negative which made me learn to keep the "I am bored" look to myself when I respond "not so fine, not good or bored, hungry, tired among others". The truth is just no one expects to hear the opposite.
I still wonder though, if it's the "do something about it "look to the response "not fine" is what makes us all stick to "fine" when really nothing is fine. I understand, everyone has something to deal with, but then do you ever think of how far it will go,if you help me scratch my back and i scratch yours back in return. How does it feel if maybe I say,
"hmmmm, my back itches you know?" And you say
"I may not have the longest of nails nor sharpest of nails but sure, I can rub it for you if it will do and if it wont do, my walls are quite rough, mind to make use of it?"
Also, if your response is
"do something about it, hmmmm hmmm your hands look long enough or your back looks just fine"
Then, next time expect me to say "fine" like some kind of mantra. Or maybe not some kind of mantra, it is a mantra.
Well now, its time you know that FINE stands for FINE IS NOT ENOUGH maybe then, tributes will not be to erase our guilts of what could have been done but sincere acknowledgment of how much space is left in our hearts by the absence.
#deep
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